| Address To a Haggis |
| |
| Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o' a grace
As lang's my arm.
| (sonsie = cheeky)
(aboon = above)
(painch = stomach, thairm = intestine) |
| The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o' need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.
|
(hurdies = hips)
|
| His knife see rustic Labour dicht,
An' cut you up wi' ready slicht,
Trenching your gushing entrails bricht,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sicht,
Warm-reekin, rich!
| (dicht = wipe, here with the idea of sharpening)
(slicht = skill)
(reeking = steaming) |
| Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmaist! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve,
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
"Bethankit" hums.
|
(deil = devil)
(swall'd=swollen, kytes = bellies,
belyve = soon)
(rive = tear, ie burst)
|
| Is there that o're his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi' perfect scunner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?
|
(olio = olive oil, staw = make sick)
(scunner = repugnance)
|
| Poor devil! see him ower his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro' bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!
|
(nieve = fist, nit = louse's egg, ie. tiny)
|
| But mark the Rustic, haggis fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his wallie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whistle;
An' legs an' arms, an' heads will sned,
Like taps o' thristle.
|
(wallie = mighty, nieve = fist)
(sned = cut off)
(thristle = thistle)
|
| Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinkin ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,
Gie her a haggis! |
(skinkin ware = watery soup)
(jaups = slops about, luggies = two-handled
continental bowls)
|
The queen goes to a hospital in Edinborough to visit some patients.
ReplyDeleteThe first guys she sees says "my love is like a red, red rose"
The next guys she sees says "Of a' the airts the wind can blaw, I dearly like the west,"
The third guy she sees says "Ye flowery banks o' bonnie Doon, How can ye blume sae fair!"
So the queen turns to her guide and asks, "What's going on here?"
The doctor says, "This is the Burns unit!"